Stranger Than Paradise: HOW TO BREAKUP By EMAIL..........

GONE WRONG!!!!!

If you ever though about breaking up through email, then think wisely (so now people write breakup letters instead of love letters) considering the circumstances are:

towards a casual relationship - when breaking up through phone would be a waste of time, credit, energy and writing a letter would be too precious

Usually to someone you're just not that into - been for a few dates but insist on calling you five times a day because you never return the calls

Clear and concise - the content of the letter should be stated cleary that you are not into him and not demoralizing the person or soon-to-be ex

if all applies, then by all means you may do so

but always be careful or else suffer the consequences like Paul Kelly Tripplehorn Jr.

He fired a berserk missive to lose this girl, however, the dumpee cleverly forwarded it to everyone she knew and soon it ended up in Washington Post

he eventually lost his job and the letter became a global phenomenon

From: Kelly Tripplehorn

Sent: Tuesday, June 03, 2003 2:11 PM

Subject: you suck

Well, as of this afternoon, I was planning on ruining your career by making phone calls to all of my parents friends and have you blackballed from the workplace as well as every prestigous law school in the country, but then (lucky for you) I decided not to do that because you are a sad sad person and I will just let your life self destruct right before my eyes.

Michele I am sorry, I don't care how big of a sadistic fucked up crush you have on me but people like me simple don't date people like you. You are too competitive with me and you just simply will never be better than me. I will always have more friends than you just because I don't care about beating people and lying to get to the top. (You are an absolute hypocrite in everything that you do, I am not going to go into details why you are because that would be a waste of my time and yours but I can assure you if you were to ever meet yourself you would hate your twin) I have told most all of the staff about our situation now and they already knew you were really messed you. They said when you were talking to them about me, they all told me you had "serious issues" and that every word you said sounded scripted and they knew without a doubt that you were lying. I have noticed that people who you think are your good friends actually really dislike you but unlike me, they will not tell you to your face because they would rather be fake nice to you than be your enemy.

Now talking about how I am obsessed with money, I simply am not. You are. You always are trying to impress me by how much money you have and I don't care. The difference is though I talk about it but it is never about bragging and it is never directly about money, it is always directly about the conversation. For instance, someone will ask, what are you doing for July 4th? And then I will say I am going to aspen. It is a simple fact that I am but since you don't have a house in aspen, you get offended because of your competitive nature. When you talk about money you will say something like UT's tuition is 5% of your family's income, thus my tuition would be 125,000. Yea, Michelle you are right, I brag too much about what I have.

Well I am just going to stop writing because you are just absolutely beneath me. I have heard that you try to undermine people all the time that are better than you and every single time it does not work because people can see through such shallowness and that is why as I have heard so many times, most "everyone at UT absolutely hates you." For instance even the people that you thought were your friends, Melissa or that girl you met at espn, they hate you, they just never say anything. Everyone knows you are a pathetic social climber who will go to any disgusting means to move up the ladder. But guess what Michele, you will never move up the ladder because I am at the top and people like me hate people like you. You might be able to trick people like me for maybe a month or so but your true personality comes through after a while and it is vile, if that. You have sooooo many people that absolutely hate you and you will never know it because they will never say anything to your face. You will not succeed in life and even the staff thinks that also, after I told them about the things that you do. You suck! and good luck being miserable for the rest of your life. I do not even know why I wasted my time typing this for suck slime. Everyone tells me that you are so beneath me (which you are) and I should not get worked up over suck trifles.

By the end of the day if I wanted to, I could make a phone call and have your life absolutely ruined but there is no need because you are falling fast enough towards failure without me. In the end, all I can say is that people love me and people hate you. You should observe me and take a few notes on how to make real friends. Other than you tying this one other person, I have never had such little respect for a human being in my life. I don't even have to tell you why because in my very accurate analysis that most everyone else agrees with, if you were to agree with my analysis about your character than my whole entire analysis would be wrong. Your inflamed ego has left you so blind and so impotent that you cannot even recognize the most obvious flaws in yourself. All your old roommates absolutely hated you and you still think the problem is with them, not you. Well I talked to your roommates and I thought they nice normal girls. So naturally, you would not fit in with them because you are so intellectually above them all. Right? You suck at life and you need to figure out why or you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

Once again from your intellectual, moral, social, and emotional superior,

Paul Kelly Tripplehorn, Jr.

Who the hell would have a sadistic crush on him?