Sunday, October 04, 2009

R.I.P. Jcen Wey ~ 1991 - 2009


(R.I.P.)
REST IN PEACE



I've just found out that a schoolmate of mine passed away on October 03, 2009. The news simply left me shocked and in awe. As I recall, the last time I saw him was about two months ago, when we were playing basketball together with a bunch of friends. He looked as healthy as a horse back then. Though Jcen Wey and I rarely talk to each other, he was more of a friend than an acquaintance to me. Today we have lost a good friend, albeit I was not very close with him, we would mourn even if we hear someone distant have passed away, what more if the dead is someone that I know of. While we need time to mend our sorrow, let us console and comfort each other during this period of grief. 

I truly pray for Jcen Wey and sincerely give my deepest regards to the weeping hearts of his beloved family. Kian Min and the rest of our friends are paying tribute to Jcen Wey, in hope that his soul may rest in Divine love.

Perhaps you sent a lovely card

Or sat quietly on a chair;

Perhaps you spoke the kindest words

As any friend could say;

Perhaps you were not there at all,

Just thought of him that day.

Whatever you did to console the hearts of his precious family & relatives;

the breaking and bleeding hearts of friends.

In your special way,

May God's many blessings be with you from day to day.

Rest In Peace

Chong Jcen Wey
19 January 1991 - 03 October 2009 

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Naughty Cakes.....!!!


Sometime ago, I saw this book titled, "Naughty Cakes". Judging by it's cover and title, obviously I would've guessed what these naughty cakes would roughly look like. I actually saw this book in the Food & Beverage section at Times Bookstore. When I picked it up, upon reading the title I was laughing my head off but out of nowhere there was a Chinese woman in her 30's standing right behind me. So I decided to just put it back before she made any rash conclusions about me. So out of curiosity, I wanted know if Naughty Cakes are sold in Malaysia and if anyone would even make them given the fact that only a handful would order these cakes. But unlike pirated DVDs and fireworks, it is harder to find in bakeries. However I was still able to get find a blog that receives orders for these cakes.
 

While naughty cakes are mostly erotic looking, some cakes are plain hilarious. 
Meet Willy Warmer, a schlong shaped cake from Debbie Brown's "Xtra Naughty Cakes"


These naughty cakes don't differ much from normal cakes apart from its distinctive decoration that makes it so naughty. I think its almost the same as moulding obscene shapes of organs with plasticine. If you want to try making these naughty cakes, you may a buy to start with. The "Naughty Cakes" book from author Debbie Brown offers many ideas of decoration. The book is filled with decorated cake designs ranging from fireman playing with their hose and 34D's

After you have mastered the beginner's level, there is a more advance "Xtra Naughty Cakes"

Some examples of naughty cakes:


Or you can just google Naughty Cakes, you'll be amazed

This cake here reminds me of the scene from Brokeback Mountain except much less disturbing.
The only time I would buy these naughty cakes are to prank someone else's birthday party.

I found another pastry shop that sells naughty cakes
Shervone Naughty Cakes

Boob cake - chocolate cake 3.5kg RM190
Dick cake - choco banana 1.5kg RM98
Fruity paradise 1.8kg RM108

Shervone will do what you can imagine!
Order 5 days in advance
Free delivery in Penang Island daily
Butterworth Area weekdays only
3.5 kg for the boobs cake? Must be a size 34D...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

ASIAN TWILIGHT Part 4 (End)


WARNING!!! This post contains flashing images which may be very very very harmful to viewers with photo sensitive epilepsy, viewer's discretion is much appreciated.

EPILOGUE

No more Colourwolf. No more Kah Puey. No more sequel.

... Colourwolf was shot right in the ass when he tried to cover Kah Puey from the shot of noob sniper, Jon Cullen.

The police and ambulance arrived after an hour and assumed he was dead right away because they intentionally delayed from arriving to the scene as they were busy eating but poor Kah Puey was brought down to tears when she saw Colourwolf lying on the floor like a dead fish. She begged the medics to send him to the hospital.

Colourwolf was sent to Hospital Bahagia Tanjung Rambutan because the medics felt that it was the best place for him. A 5 star hospital for the nuts. Then a person named, Kah Ming came in the room and called Kah Puey out.

He warned her: "U so pretty go find a better guy, y wan wif Colourwolf, he is otaku like me u low? But not as smart. Kah Puey kept silent and listened deliberately to Kah Ming. Ssshh, I tell u 1 more secret ok? U must leave Colourwolf. Kah Puey: Why?? But he saved my life! Nooonononono~~~ Listen to me!! He jus wanna make u feel guilty then rape u.

Turned out, Kah Ming is the cousin of both Kah Len and Kah Chung. Kah Ming, a smart otaku that has warned Colourwolf many times of his actions. (Below) Kah Ming accepting an award from a guy like Colonel Sanders of KFC for his 17As. 

To further convince Kah Puey, Kah Ming then showed her the filthy and sickening pictures of Colourwolf with his beloved Sony Ericsson K850i with 5MP and serial number 001 out of infinity which he is so proud of. As if anyone cares about serial numbers.

These pictures made Kah Puey get chills and felt like puking on the spot. Kah Ming also told Kah Puey the history and background of Colourwolf. Usually you call these people a cam whore, but since he is a guy and extremely loves to post pictures of himself to gain attention and calls himself lame, calling him cam gigolo or cam prick should be fine.


In the beginning, we knew mediocrely about Colourwolf, some say that he has only one testicle and some say that he can communicate with aliens. But we know for sure that he is a perverted, lame, sick, disgusting, otaku. Nevertheless, it is not his fault because he had a sickening dad and he now has many types of sickness and diseases.

Other than watching porn on RedTube during Colourwolf's free time, Colourwolf also has a facebook account that allows him to express himself through status updates with comments like, lost all his pendrive ~ yay. Then exactly one day later, he posts: find back all his lost pendrive ~ whee. All these technological advancements allow Colourwolf to live in a world of his own.

  Colour Wolf Colour Wolf Just finished Resident Evil 5 ~ Omgosh !!
September 10 at 9:48pm ·  · 
Michelle Tan
Michelle Tan wow grats :D
September 10 at 11:07pm
Colour Wolf
Colour Wolf thx muahaha
September 11 at 12:14am

In his blog, Colourwolf puts a trademark on each and every of his picture and add stupid little captions on it. For instance, the picture below, obviously she doesn't want her picture to be taken and yet he takes her picture and writes retarded captions that corresponds to the action.

For some reason, Colourwolf is addicted to taking pictures of bananas. Remember those little kids that he sodomized and helpless grandmothers that this beast raped? Before Sam bit him, he actually had another request. His request was to have his penis enlarged. He was fearful because his wiener was still at the same length since he was 9. 

Sadly, the penis enlargement failed and this was one of the factors that contribute to Colourwolf's addiction to rape. I sincerely pray for those whom have been raped by this sadistic beast as it sure sucks to get raped by a colourwolf with failed penis surgery.

Two weeks after recovery from his ass shot wound, Colourwolf lost much of his hair. This was the lowest point in his life. His hair will eventually grow back, but it'll take weeks or even months. During this period of time, Colourwolf went through some major nervous breakdown and tried committing suicide 27 times. But each time he failed.

From the day she knew Colourwolf's true colors onwards, she experienced a deep trauma and became afraid to meet people. She became anorexic and had insomnia.

Seeing this as an opportunity, Jon visited her and called her repeatedly to tell how sorry he was for trying to force her to take those naughty pictures for his collection. He also apologized for allegedly trying to assault Kah Puey when she didn't comply with his demands. Jon also sent flowers to her frequently.

Summer arrived, Jon gave Kah Puey a great surprise birthday by inviting her to the most expensive candlelight dinner restaurant in town. But sadly, she ended up paying for both the taxi fees and restaurant bill. Even the cake was given complimentary by the restaurant.

In the end, Jon Cullen was the one who won the heart of Kah Puey and got back together with her. After much obstacles and a lost ear, it showed that they were meant to be with each other, inseparable like viagra and erectile dysfunction. Like all fairy tales or fantasies, Kah Puey and Jon Cullen lived happily ever after. 
NOT!!!

Kah Puey found out that he went clubbing again, 6 hours after they got back together.

THE END

All events and characters portrayed in this post are fictional and created solely for promotional use only. It is also unintended to abuse/hurt/assault/damage/crush anyone's feelings nor intend any copyright infringement. 

Monday, September 07, 2009

LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560-4........!!!!!!!!!!!


LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO LP560-4 CAR REVIEW

They call it the baby bull. The powerful heart of the Gallardo LP560-4 is the new 5.2 litre V10 engine with an output of 560 PS (412 kW) at 8000 rpm. The increase of 40 PS compared with that of the previous Gallardo, and the approximate 20 kilogram reduction in weight, improves the power weight ratio to 2.5 kilograms per PS (hp) and thus enhances performance. The LP560-4 accelerates from 0-100 km/h in 3.7 seconds, its speed at 11.8 seconds is 200 km/h and its top speed lies at 325 km/h. These improvements make the updated iteration of the baby bull quicker than Porsche's 911 Turbo and Audi's R8. Then again, starting at $203,000, it should.




CONFIGURATION:
Mid-engine, four-wheel-drive, two-passenger coupe/spyder

ENGINE:
5.2 liter V10

TRANSMISSION:
6-speed manual;
6-speed automated manual

POWER:
552 hp at 8,000 rpm

TORQUE:
398 ft lbs at 6,500 rpm

BASE PRICE:
$203,000 (coupe)
$220,000 (Spyder, estimated)







Technical Specs
ManufacturerLamborghini
Parent companyAudi AG
Production2003–present
8,588 built (2003–2008)
AssemblySant'Agata BologneseItaly
PredecessorLamborghini Jalpa
ClassSports car
Body style(s)2-door coupé
2-door spyder
LayoutMid-engine, four-wheel drive
Engine(s)5.0 L V10
5.2 L V10
Transmission(s)6-speed manual
6-speed single
clutchelectrohydraulic manual transmission
Wheelbase2,560 mm (100.8 in)
Length4,300 mm (169.3 in)
Width1,900 mm (74.8 in)
Height1,165 mm (45.9 in)
Spyder: 46.6 in (1,183.6 mm)
Curb weight1,500 kg (3,307 lb)
RelatedAudi R8
DesignerLuc Donckerwolke









































Gallardo engine modelLP560-4
engine configurationV10 engine
engine displacement5,204 cc (318.0cu in)
max. power412 kW (560 PS; 552 bhp @ 8,000rpm
max. torque540 N·m (398 ft·lb)
kerb weight1,500 kg (3,307 lb
0-100 km/h (62.1 mph)3.7 sec 
0-200 km/h (124.3 mph)11.8 sec
1/4 mile (~400m)11.2 sec @ 129.5 mph (208.0 km/h)
top speed325 km/h (201 mph)
lateral acceleration
(200 feet (61 m) skidpad)
N/A