INDEPENDENCE DAY /52nd.......

MERDEKA! 31. August. 1957

Merdeka means independence. (Below) Skyline of Kuala Lumpur

Today is Hari Merdeka in Malaysia, it also marks the 52nd anniversary of independence from the Britsh colonial rule. 

This year's national day was distinct because I spent my public holiday on writing this, instead of going out to join in Hari Merdeka celebrations. As a citizen, I'm proud of my own country regardless of what people say. The public transport is magnificent, civil rights are stupendous (means extremely impressive lah, not stupid), and the food is fabulous. In short, it is a very cultural diverse country with splendid civilians. Bravo.

By now, you'd probably think that I'm drunk. Unless you consider drunk in the sense as intoxicated then yes, i'm drunk by secondhand smoke. No i'm not drunk, I'm beerless and I'm not a drunkard or drunkaholic. 

  

I reiterate that I did not employ the use of sarcasm nor did I apply any sense of derogatory terms throughout my post. So dun simply incarcerate me. Yeah, I used dun, what's the poblem?? 

TOP 10 WORST NBA DRAFT PICKS.........

This is my top 10 worst NBA draft picks entering the 2000s, a tribute to those that disappointed big time. It's a top ten because there had been exactly ten drafts beginning from the year 2000 to this year's 2009 draft. Here we can see Darko getting owned by 15th pick Al Jefferson. Jefferson, not a first overall pick, plays much better than all of them in this list. Thus, it doesn't really matter what overall you're picked in, so long that the player has potential, he can have success anywhere. Enjoy. 

Dishonorable mention:

Greg Oden, C, Portland Trailblazers - 1st Overall Pick 2007

Mike Sweetney

Luke Jackson

Andrea Bargani

J.J. Redick & many more

Counting down from number 10,

10. Yaroslav Korolev(notes), Los Angeles Clippers, taken 12th overall in 2005

Yaroslav is the starter for this list. Why? It's because most of the players here are well known or least recognized and he is unknown for the most part, except for Fran Vazquez but he didn't in the NBA (picked after Fran Vazquez at 12th overall). They don't have a career average of 1.2 PPG either. I doubt that even David Stern recalls this guy playing in an NBA game. Unlike most of the other draft busts, he naturally has the potential beforehand, of a failure. And it is a career, because even at age 22, he's never coming back. Mike Dunleavy clearly ousted him, who shot 28 percent from the field in 34 NBA career games of 2 seasons. Couldn't the Clippers pick Danny Granger instead? 

9. Yi Jianlian(notes), Milwaukee Bucks, taken sixth overall in 2007

His age has been controversial, some claim he might have been born a year or even three years before and he has refused to comment on his age. But whatever his age might be, the truth is, he's entered the NBA now and I don't think you could rely on low-percentage jumpers (unless you're Dirk) to be effective, his laziness has his opponents walk him over defensively and he doesn't even care to rebound. He makes the fringe of this list merely because he's still in the league and his 8.6 points per game come close to Greg Oden's. After two seasons, it's pretty clear what Yi is all about.

8. Rafael Araújo(notes), Toronto Raptors, taken eighth overall in 2004

There isn't much to say about Araujo, except that he's vanished from the NBA since I don't know when. The reason? I guess he found out the NBA wasn't suitable for him because he was constantly overshadowed by other players that were actually willing to work hard.

Have a look at his career averages:

GP	GS	MPG	FG%	3P%	FT%	RPG	APG	SPG	BPG	PPG

139	75	11.4	.405	.250	.679	2.8	0.3	0.4	0.1	2.8

7. DeSagana Diop/ Rodney White/ Kedrick Brown, taken eight, ninth, and eleventh overall in 2001

It didn't matter whether it was 8th, 9th or 11th. The trio was drafted in 2001, pretty close to each other and thus, reflecting very similar fates too. They were impressive enough to scouts but were never close to being productive on court and received very little playing time. After, being sent by teams as part of packages to sweeten the deal and being toyed by several teams along the way, White and Brown are nowhere to be seen near basketball games and Diop playing limited minutes for the Bobcats. The total career point averages for the three is, 12.8 points per game added up. In other words, each of them averages 4.26 points per game for their career.

6. Fran Vázquez, Orlando Magic, taken eleventh overall in 2005

You've probably never even heard of him. Hey, at least Tskitishvili suited up for the Nuggets and gave it a go. Vazquez might not ever see an NBA court, and if he does it's very much in doubt if it even be with the Magic. The real knee-to-groin moment was that Vazquez announced his return to Spain shortly after the draft. Perhaps you think this is a bit high, but the not doing their homework factor is so obvious the Magic deserve a place among the top of this list. Ricky Rubio's case is much similar to his.

5. Adam Morrison(notes), Charlotte Bobcats, taken third overall in 2006

You can almost see the disappointment in his face often at times, his college success can't seem to be able to translate into the NBA. He has been consistently trying to enjoy a breakthrough year in his pro career but until he has learned on how to rebound, defend, get to the line or pass the ball properly, he's not going to be anywhere near. Did I mention he has to improve his 37% field goal too? 

4. Nikoloz Tskitishvili, Denver Nuggets, taken fifth overall in 2002

For all the flak Darko Milicic takes as the poster boy for workout wonders, it's a wonder that people have forgotten about Skita. He demonstrated amazing athletic ability in his pre-draft workouts, then showed nothing on the court. Amazingly, this scene repeated itself in the summer of 2005, when a great showing in the NBA Summer League got Skita a contract with the Timberwolves. He lasted five games. This pick ultimately forced GM Kiki Vanderweghe to lose his job, but saved many more GMs. *(2.9 points, 1.8 rebounds, 0.7 assists, and 0.2 blocks PER for a seven-footer.) *Career stats.

3.  First Round 2000 NBA draft

Bad. Very bad. You literally can't think of a standout franchise player, other than Michael Redd, who fell to the 43rd pick, second round. Noteworthy players include, Hedo Turkoglu, Mike Miller, Kenyon Martin, Morris Peterson and Jamal Crawford. Listen on, Stormile Swift (2nd pick) entering 10th pro season is as disappointing as ever. Then put in Darius Miles, Marcus Fizer, DerMarr Johnson, Chris Mihm, and what exactly is Mark Madsen doing in the NBA? Oh right, he was waived like a week ago. Do you want me to go on? Or do you want me to just mention Jerome Moiso's name and move on with it. Moving on, ESPN.com columnist, David Schoenfield has rated drafts from 1985, and the only draft in which he gave a grade of 'F" was the year 2000 draft. The 2000 draft has all the right reasons to be the worst draft class ever.   

2. Kwame Brown(notes), Washington Wizards, taken first overall in 2001

Kwame's the first top pick on this list, which holds quite a bit of weight because a top selection's success or failure will rightfully be measured alongside all that come after him. Every pick. Even the free agents. Unfortunately for Kwame, his legacy will only carry on with people remembering him as the worst no. 1 overall pick right out of high school ever and the rape accussation, that's IF he has one. And his legacy, (seven points, 5.6 rebounds in 23 minutes a contest, career) are bloody awful.

1. Darko Miličić(notes), Detroit Pistons, taken second overall in 2003

It's easy to say this was a disaster because the 2003 Draft Class was one of the most outstanding in draft history. So obviously you'd think he's going to be a superstar just because he was selected before Carmelo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Kirk Hinrich, Josh Howard, Leandro Barbosa, and the list goes on forever. But I don't think it's that simple. However, I do credit Milicic disappointment to Larry Brown who notoriously doesn't care for rookies, and ultimately ruined Darko's confidence as a basketball player. But his stats are downright dreadful, 5.5 PPG, 4.0 RPG, 0.7 APG in 17.2 MPG, for his CAREER average!!!. For now, just ignore the stats and I still can't remember a second of the 337 games that he's played in, let alone have an impact on any team. Even DeSagana Diop who averages only a disreputable 2.1 PPG makes a better center than Darko, primarily with his defensive stance and shot-blocking ability. Not to mention his on and off court behavior, who the heck rips his jersey into half when they receive a technical and subsequently being sent to the bench? Man, he ain't Iverson. I think the Pistons would rather take Kendrick Perkins instead. The only feat he's achieved so far in his NBA career, is he became the youngest player ever to appear in an NBA Finals game (18 years and 356 days) when the Pistons defeated the Los Angeles Lakers while playing garbage minutes with Detroit leading by a huge margin. 

Derived from:

The top 10 lottery busts of the last decade

By Kelly Dwyer

STRANGER THAN FICTION.........

by Jason

Waiter Rant

Preface

As I came across this book, I realized that this was one of the most captivating books I've ever encountered, while the other one being the breakup book. Not because I've only read two books in my lifetime, but because this book sort of made a statement that it is indifferent, not the typical lackluster boring book that you read about and forget the next morning. The authentic compilation of daily anecdotes that runs the gamut from rude customers and bad tippers to daily restaurant conversations are utmost interesting and serves as a wake-up call for most of us that take waiters for granted. 

"I'm a waiter. I bring food to the table in exchange for tips. At first glance it seems like a simple job. Just be neat, polite, display some salesmanship, and don't forget to smile. Easy, right? What world are you living in?" 

I was browsing through the food & beverage book section and I caught a glimpse of a very appealing cover with the middle finger gesture, the title reads, "Waiter Rant". I thought it might be worth a read in sought to comprehend the compelling context of a waiter's life. So I bought it. In the outset, the anonymous author of the book, The Waiter is actually Steve Dublanica. A preeminent New York City waiter.

After years being identified only as The Waiter in his blog, his self-proclaimed quasi-fame has him on the contrary. Substantially because his award winning blog has reaped millions of views and responses whilst this book further consolidates his success now, as a published author.

In retrospect, Dublanica did not become widely popular or sensationally overwhelming overnight. Ten years ago, he was dismissed from his job at a psychiatric hospital and then turned to his brother for a job. In the beginning, he find himself stuck with socially maladjusted psychopaths who relish giving their waiters a hard time at an Italian restaurant called Amici's. A few years later, he wakes up in the middle of the night, still trying to figure out why he's still waiter.

The story - chronicles on how he is often perceived as being a powerless tip slave. Waiters are excellent observers, they scope through tiny little things that happen around them. For instance, the man at table no.3 has bipolar disorder and the lady at table no. 15 is an unhappy wife. At times, the server know even their names, not because they eavesdrop on every table. But because it is inevitable that everywhere inside the restaurant, people are talking. Though your average waiter might agree with you most of the time, truth is, they are actually dying to tell you that you're wrong. 

Nevertheless, it is well learned in this book that if you don't want your waiter to spit in your food or give you the table near the kitchen on Valentine's day, follow a few simple customer rules: make reservations early and keep them, tip well, order from the menu and, please, no finger snapping. Therefore, I admonish you that after reading this book, you will look at your waiter the same way again. By then, you should start learning on how to be a better customer instead.

Some profoundly genuine yet hysterical lines I found from Waiter Rant:

Chapter 11

The customer at table 17 is taking forever to make her mind. As I wait patiently I idly think that, if I had become a fireman, I'd never have a problem getting laid.

"Might I suggest the salmon, madam?" I offer, finally breaking the silence. "It's quite good here."

"I don't know," the woman says, furrowing her brow as she peers at the menu. "I'm a fussy eater."

No kidding, I think to myself. Fussy eaters are an interesting evolutionary paradox. How did they survive the primeval and pass on their DNA. Didn't they just eat what was available or die? I can just imagine a Stepford cave-wife being savaged by a saber-toothed tiger because she dithered between mastodon and dietetic tree bark.

"Madam?" I prod gently. No response. Damn. There's never a saber-toothed tiger around when you need one.

Who would've thought you'd find such an interesting book in the food and beverage section.

ASIAN TWILIGHT Part 3

Warning!! This post contains flashing images which may be very very harmful to viewers with photo sensitive epilepsy, viewer's discretion is much appreciated.

CLIMAX

The epic battle between Colourwolf and Jon Cullen was about to unveil....

Kah Puey was petrified and agitated because she was in the midst of a battle between two of the horniest from their own species. It wasn't that scary actually, she could've bought a popcorn combo, sat down and watch those two numb nuts fight for her. But no, she wanted to be the afraid and unprotected, like Bella. There you go, another drama queen.

They started a pussy fight that included, tearing off each others clothes, pulling each other's hair, gay push, girly mocking, and bitch-slapping. After being worn out by the pussy fight, both of them then decided to play scissors, paper, stone to battle it out. Jon played stone and punched Colourwolf in the face. Colourwolf countered with scissors and poked Jon's eyes for looking at too much celebrities. Jon tried to trick Colourwolf by saying, "Look, your mom". Colourwolf said, I've never seen my mom before.

Just when Jon was about to leap on Kah Puey, Colourwolf jumped towards Jon and bit his ear off. Jon immediately fell to the ground, shouting: "Why you do like that? Seriously, who try to bite someone in the ear for, hah?" Jon then ran away, crying like a cowardly sissy 

After the long grueling battle, Colourwolf came away victorious but he was shivering as he can't take the cold weather. He wanted to go home. His body is the weakest among all wolves because he is a wanker or more commonly transfered, always hit airplane or release fireworks. Colourwolf is also on a diet, his target is to slim down to 50kg because he thinks now he is fat. In scientific terms, it is referred to as Obsessive-compulsive disorder. He is narcissistic and conscious about his looks. He is always nervous, similar to PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) though it is not usually found in male patients but such critical conditions like Colourwolf, it may happen. Also experience major mood swings. He also has diabetes, low blood pressure, parkinson disease, alzheimer, insomnia and bulimia. 

Colourwolf then called a cab as he had no energy and more importantly, no money left.

They were relieved that it is over and talked in the cab;

Kah Puey: May I ask you a question?

Colourwolf: You just did.....

Kah Puey: How old are you?

Colourwolf: 20

Kah Puey: How long have you been 20

Colourwolf: Since July

Kah Puey: I've considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite

 

Colourwolf: What am I? Say it!

Kah Puey: A pervert

Colourwolf: What?!

Kah Puey: A pervet!!!!!!!!!!

Colourwolf: Okay, okay.........

Emo looking Colourwolf with his sick sick perverted face when he brought Kah Puey home.

Colourwolf reached for Kah Puey's hand and gave her a homemade cupcake with a limited edition Colourwolf Coffee box. Only one in the world. Kah Puey was touched by his actions, for saving her and she agreed to go out with Colourwolf as friends.

TWO WEEKS LATER........

I know you guys know who he is, that's right he's Jon Cullen. Did you guys see the picture of him? Not from the scandal but from my previous post, with clothes on. Jon also had his ear fixed by installing a fake one.

After the incident, Jon avidly went clubbing to mesmerize himself about his ear and to forget about Kah Puey. He boozes liquor as if they were herbal tea, and flirted with girls . But deep inside he is hurt very very bad.

  

Meet Candice, the younger half-sister of Colourwolf.  At 19, she is of Jewish, Irish, Malaysian and Malta descendant. (Below), Candice being laughed by her schoolmates 

She was and still is Guinness World Record holder for "World's Hairiest Woman". But that's pretty cool because she is kind hearted on the inside and special on the outside. She's like this walking Magic Carpet.

Candice also had a crush on Jacob Black after he cut his hair short, Jacob is her maternal cousin but too bad she was rejected by Jacob because he says she rarely takes a bath and besides, he likes Bella. However, Candice insists she occasionally baths, well if you consider once a month occasionally.....But you can't blame her, how long would it take a hair dryer to get her hair dry? Probably about a month.

Kah Chung is the younger brother of Kah Len. They're the kind of twins that don't look resemble each other and definitely hate each other. Kah Chung is younger by 36 hours, mama vampire almost lost too much blood when giving birth to him.

Kah Chung has this big crush on Candice. They studied at the same school called Sekolah Sri Rambutan, near Tanjung Rambutan. Malaysia's renowned mental hospital or nuthouse. Similar to Candice, Kah Chung also invests separately. Means it is common for him to have a crush on 4 girls at a time, depending on which has a higher success rate. Despite that, he has a bigger crush on Candice.

Kah Chung's english name is Tidus Cullen, seeing this hurts my eyes.

On a sunny friday, Colourwolf and Kah Puey went to non other than I Utama, second home of most people. It was also the first place where they met and Colourwolf tried to peep her in the toilet. Seriously though, I've been there so many times that I could sleepwalk in the mall and literally know where I'm going.  

Seen the movie Sniper (神鎗手)? Just when Colourwolf was about to walk in to the entrance with Kah Puey, there was a gunshot sound. Everyone screamed and scattered. Colourwolf instantly turned into wussy and lied down to pretend that he's dead. Kah Puey not convinced by his actions, tried to run inside to shopping mall. Colourwolf opened his eyes and try to get a glimpse of which prick was shooting at them.

It was Jon Cullen he saw, just when Jon was about to shoot again, his wiener became stiff and affected his aim. The bullet was headed for Kah Puey who was running in, Colourwolf saw the bullet and used his swift reactions and try to cover Kah Puey. Colourwolf was shot, in the ass.  

TO BE CONTINUED..............

The final episode of Asian Twilight

Who will score the grand prize and successfully date Kah Puey?

All events and characters portrayed in this post are fictional and created solely for promotional use only. It is also unintended to abuse/hurt/assault/damage/crush anyone's feelings nor intend any copyright infringement.