by Jason
Waiter Rant
Preface
As I came across this book, I realized that this was one of the most captivating books I've ever encountered, while the other one being the breakup book. Not because I've only read two books in my lifetime, but because this book sort of made a statement that it is indifferent, not the typical lackluster boring book that you read about and forget the next morning. The authentic compilation of daily anecdotes that runs the gamut from rude customers and bad tippers to daily restaurant conversations are utmost interesting and serves as a wake-up call for most of us that take waiters for granted.
"I'm a waiter. I bring food to the table in exchange for tips. At first glance it seems like a simple job. Just be neat, polite, display some salesmanship, and don't forget to smile. Easy, right? What world are you living in?"
I was browsing through the food & beverage book section and I caught a glimpse of a very appealing cover with the middle finger gesture, the title reads, "Waiter Rant". I thought it might be worth a read in sought to comprehend the compelling context of a waiter's life. So I bought it. In the outset, the anonymous author of the book, The Waiter is actually Steve Dublanica. A preeminent New York City waiter.
After years being identified only as The Waiter in his blog, his self-proclaimed quasi-fame has him on the contrary. Substantially because his award winning blog has reaped millions of views and responses whilst this book further consolidates his success now, as a published author.
In retrospect, Dublanica did not become widely popular or sensationally overwhelming overnight. Ten years ago, he was dismissed from his job at a psychiatric hospital and then turned to his brother for a job. In the beginning, he find himself stuck with socially maladjusted psychopaths who relish giving their waiters a hard time at an Italian restaurant called Amici's. A few years later, he wakes up in the middle of the night, still trying to figure out why he's still waiter.
The story - chronicles on how he is often perceived as being a powerless tip slave. Waiters are excellent observers, they scope through tiny little things that happen around them. For instance, the man at table no.3 has bipolar disorder and the lady at table no. 15 is an unhappy wife. At times, the server know even their names, not because they eavesdrop on every table. But because it is inevitable that everywhere inside the restaurant, people are talking. Though your average waiter might agree with you most of the time, truth is, they are actually dying to tell you that you're wrong.
Nevertheless, it is well learned in this book that if you don't want your waiter to spit in your food or give you the table near the kitchen on Valentine's day, follow a few simple customer rules: make reservations early and keep them, tip well, order from the menu and, please, no finger snapping. Therefore, I admonish you that after reading this book, you will look at your waiter the same way again. By then, you should start learning on how to be a better customer instead.
Some profoundly genuine yet hysterical lines I found from Waiter Rant:
Chapter 11
The customer at table 17 is taking forever to make her mind. As I wait patiently I idly think that, if I had become a fireman, I'd never have a problem getting laid.
"Might I suggest the salmon, madam?" I offer, finally breaking the silence. "It's quite good here."
"I don't know," the woman says, furrowing her brow as she peers at the menu. "I'm a fussy eater."
No kidding, I think to myself. Fussy eaters are an interesting evolutionary paradox. How did they survive the primeval and pass on their DNA. Didn't they just eat what was available or die? I can just imagine a Stepford cave-wife being savaged by a saber-toothed tiger because she dithered between mastodon and dietetic tree bark.
"Madam?" I prod gently. No response. Damn. There's never a saber-toothed tiger around when you need one.
Who would've thought you'd find such an interesting book in the food and beverage section.
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